Today

Today I'm a little blond-haired boy, playing king of the castle with my dad on the stumps on my way to the stop. Today I'm going to wait for the bus all by myself. When it comes, I will look quietly out the window, playing with that squishy padding as we drive over the old bridge with its big metal trusses. When I get to school, I will enjoy the few minutes I have with the marble chutes before Evan comes and I have to let him play with them. The other kids like his designs better. He tells them he is going to make a marble go straight up.

Today I'm a dolphin, swimming happily through my freshwater tank. But the enclosure doesn't bother me: it is the Atlantic Ocean. And the Pacific. It's the Indian Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico and the lakes and streams of the American midwest. Maybe these aren't ideal places for a dolphin, but that's ok.

Because today I'm the breeze. I blow cool and refreshing on a hot summer day in Wyoming, amplifying the smell of a simple grilled cheese sandwich to transform it into a feast more grand than that enjoyed by any king. I blow over the waves on the beach and I sting the cold rosy faces outside on a winter day.

Today I am a lover. No, today I am love itself. Today I am God. I am everywhere and in everything. I am the deep magic that governs the properties and the particles you will never find with your microscopes, telescopes, or Large Hadron Colliders – even your theories – because you, Horatio, will never even scratch the surface.

Today I am tired. Both physically and mentally exhausted, I'm feeling the strain of the schedule I've decided to take on this semester. My to-do list keeps growing and my nights keep getting later and somehow I have only been here for two weeks. But I'm happy. I'm content with my life in a way I haven't been since I started college.

So bring on the classes, the meetings, the sleep deprivation, and the missed deadlines. Bring it on because I'm only going to work harder. Bring it on because I am ready. I am physically and mentally strong. I am frustration and I am passion. I am love, anger, sorrow, joy, fascination, and peace. I am a man. I am a lion. I am tiger, a monkey, and an eagle. I am a little boy with the lunchbox my mom packed, happy and quietly curious about what comes next.

I am a dolphin. Thanks for all the fish.